Helpful Hints for the Newbie

So I’m new to all this. I have no expertise. I have no past to draw upon. I am in the now, as they say. All I can share with you is what I’m learning at the present time. My training for the NYC Triathlon has been incredible. It's given me a confidence in myself that I thought I misplaced. The good news is this is my first one, so I will not devalue my own experience by comparing this year’s Triathlon to last year’s like some world traveler who incorporates the phrase “the time I spent in Bulgaria” into every conversation as if to illustrate that other opinions are insignificant poo.

So, here's what I’ve learned so far in my NYC Triathlon training:

1. When in doubt, stretch your calves.
2. For all those athletes who pass you- there are twice as many who are behind you.
3. A “Brick” is a combination of biking and running. Not doing them at the same time as one might think, but doing them one right after another.
4. Eating bananas are great for relieving leg cramps.
5. Swimming a mile in the pool in 30 minutes is not only doable but extremely boring.
6. Central Park is the greatest park in the midtown.
7. To other runners, chatting with a buddy while running is like talking on your cell phone in the quiet car of the train.
8. Chatting with a buddy while swimming is hard.
9. Running 6.2 miles is more a mental block than a physical one.
10. I fart more often than I ever have. I blame the bananas.
11. It doesn’t matter how aerodynamic your bike looks or how cool you dress; everyone looks ridiculous wearing a bike helmet.
12. Do not wear shorts in thirty-degree weather.
13. The generosity of those friends and family members who have donated money to my TNT cancer research cause has been amazing. Here’s the link.
14. Sharing running stories are just as exciting as listening to them.
15. To everyone’s shock, George enlisted in the army, but died from saving a girl getting hit by a bus; however, he still joined Izzy on the elevator to heaven dressed in his army uniform.
16. The word triathlon is French for “sports with no balls." (that’s not a euphemism)
17. Vanilla goo tastes better than chocolate goo. (that’s not a euphemism)
18. Do not run with your bike helmet on (THAT’S a euphemism)
19. I haven’t been in this great of shape since the time I spent in Bulgaria.

Until next time… assuming there’s a next time... support your local brunch.